Me about Me, to you.

After 15 years of marital life

and lifetime of brainwashing

by my family and by my

surrounding society which

imprinted the word Shame in

my brain right next to the

strongest thing I longed for in my heart.

I tried to ignore that longing.

But for how long you could ignore

the elephant in you room.

No mater which way you look

you will always catch a glimpse of him

in a corner of your eye.

I just got tired of ignoring myself.

Now I know better.

Now I’ll no longer feel the shame

that my longing is for Her not Him.

The cage of shame which held my heart captive

is broken and forgotten.

But to find that someone is still just desire.

That hunger for someone to share myself with,

the thirst to feel that love,

yet not been satisfied.

The heart is growing free and in size,

filling up with love for myself I found now

for being brave and taking steps

in MY direction.

And I do believe that the light which shines from my heart,

will show the way for that beloved ,

to me.

For now I satisfy my thirst in words.

By reading them and by putting them together

to express myself out to you.

Beautiful English words now,

as I fall in love with this language.

It is not my birth language but

I feel like I was born again through embracing it now.

I have love for words of others who sailed same rough

seas as me and found the ‘shore’.

They became my lighthouses on my journey.

So please be patient and forgiving all of you English born.

Forgive my toddlers stumbling through words.

I’m still learning how to get to more stable grounds

and make it flow.
ELLA

About ellanova222

Eastern European born , keen traveler and nature lover. Always wanted to feel the world under my bare feet. Traveled the globe and end enjoyed it heaps, as I love our planet sooo... much. My journeys bring me all the way to my new home, the beautiful coutry Australia. I Love it here . Mesmerising wild nature... shire empty lands ... wild seas and gorgeous beaches... friendly sharing people... Birth place to my Son. This all is Australia to me . My heart had led me to this land. I know I'm where I supouse to be. I got bounded to this place forever.

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